Bullying - David's Story
David isn't his real name because his parents want to remain anonymous. As a result of David's suffering at the hands of a bully, this family moved their children from their local school to start afresh at a new school in the next village.
David was only 5 when his classmate, Max, began a campaign of systematic bullying against him. Max, however, didn't know that this was what he was doing because he had severe behavioural problems, which made him the other victim in this story.
David came home a couple of times with damaged glasses - ?Just another boy pulling them off again Mum. And then there was the tripping up in class. ?Max is very naughty in class, Mummy "he keeps pushing me.?
We didn't know Max David had only been at the school for a few months and we were still getting to know the other parents. But Max's name kept popping up and David kept getting hurt so we made an appointment to see the teacher.
She agreed that Max was a problem and said she was keeping an eye on it. Then one day I collected David from school and the teacher said there had been another 'incident' and she had dealt with it. Max had run up to David at lunchtime and bitten him, hard on the arm.
So we arranged to see the Head Teacher the next day. She was evasive and pretty unhelpful, which shocked us. She showed no concern for David at all. She explained that Max was a statemented child and told us far more about his case than she should. Compassionate as we were about Max's situation, our priority had to be David. All we wanted was for her to guarantee his safety, which she eventually said she would. Max was not allowed to play for more than a few minutes each break-time, and he would be supervised at all times.
I actually remember asking the Head Teacher what it would take for her to take us seriously ' would I be called in to take him to casualty with a broken leg'
A week later I sat in casualty with David his arm broken in two places.
David's arm didn't mend the first time, so he underwent a general anaesthetic and had wires put in his lower arm. He missed about 10 days of school. He fell a little behind in his work. At no time did the Head Teacher ask after him. At no time did the school offer to help him catch up the work he had missed.
We visited the Head Teacher again, and the Head of the Board of Governors to ask what their plan was. They each had a different one. They asked us whether we wanted Max excluded. Not that it would be up to us in any way. We said all we wanted was for David to be safe how the school did that was up to them.
However, we came across a big sticking point the Head Teacher would not agree that David had been bullied and as long as she was in denial, then nothing could happen. The Head agreed that David had been the target of Max's 'fascination' and that although he had hurt David at times (!) she could not be sure that the final arm-breaking was a result of an attack by Max or any other child at the school. They only had David's word for it as no adult had been present (so much for Max's supervision).
The health professionals, however, quite clearly thought that the breaks were a result of an attack. So much so that we sometimes felt piercing eyes on us in the hospital and were obliged to explain frequently that the incident had happened in school time.
In the end, we decided that this school was not the caring, progressive environment within which we wanted our children to learn - and that David's safety was still not guaranteed.
The children are now attending a fabulous school in the next village. The children have put the incident behind them and have ended up in a much happier school altogether. David just remembers Max as a naughty boy and luckily hasn't thought too much about why he was picked on. We never used the term bullying and focused on positives the whole time.
In our new school, we feel certain that should a similar situation arise, our children would be cared for and the bullying would be stopped. This confidence came from a very frank and open discussion with the new Head before moving the children. It was important that he knew everything that had happened and that we understood his school's policy on bullying.
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